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Doctor Who: Last of the Time Lords/The Vortex Web
This is the fourth episode of Doctor Who: Last of the Time Lords. Plot Katherine: What do you mean, "no?" Doctor: I mean no! Seriously can't you pudding brains understand ANYTHING? Nobody steps in or out of this TARDIS until I figure out why it keeps glitching. After all, it could be your fault. Katherine: My fault? Doctor, are you saying I'M actually the one responsible for this? For some reason, I can't even pronounce tortoise right. Doctor: I'm not going to let you go. After all, I did meet a female regeneration of the Master once, and you could be another one. Katherine: Go ahead and try fixing it, then. Doctor: Okay. The Doctor begins to fix the TARDIS. Doctor: What's this? I've never seen this big red button here before. Katherine, have you been messing with the TARDIS components again? Katherine: What do you mean "again?" Doctor: Oh... Must be thinking about someone else... Seems to be linked to the TARDIS console, which would explain the glitching, but who would put it there? Katherine: That man... Do you think it would be him? The man I saw at Jack's shop and on Gallifrey? Doctor: Possibly. Who could it be? Rassilon? The Master? The Rani regenerated into a man? Someone completely unrelated? Maybe you can take us to him using the TARDIS. Anyways, I'm going to take out this red button. *rips the button out of the TARDIS* The TARDIS rapidly starts spinning around. Katherine: WOAH! Doctor: *quickly runs over to the TARDIS console* Oh, that's bad, isn't it? Katherine: What? Doctor: The TARDIS has become a spider of some sort. Katherine: How do you know that? Doctor: There are eight different cameras showing up on one screen, and eight legs are spawning from the TARDIS console! I've turned the TARDIS into a living time spider! Katherine: I've got an idea! *opens the TARDIS doors* Grab the FLIPCAE and jump! Doctor: Why? *grabs the FLIPCAE* Katherine: Because this will be a very bad decision if you don't. *jumps out of the TARDIS* Doctor: Katherine! *jumps out, holds onto Katherine, and shoots the FLIPCAE upwards as the TARDIS flies* Why did you do that? Now we're stuck, and if we stay in here too long, we're both going to die! Katherine: Doctor, don't you know what spiders do? They spin webs! The TARDIS spins a web in the Time Vortex. Doctor: We need to swing over there! Katherine: Shoot the FLIPCAE in that direction! Doctor: Okay! *shoots the FLIPCAE toward the web, and they both get stuck in the middle* Katherine and the Doctor suddenly appear in six different places. Doctor: This is strange, we're in six places at once! Katherine: The TARDIS must have linked these times together! In UNIT headquarters... Kate Stewart: Doctor? What are you doing here? And why is Katherine with you? On Gallifrey... Rassilon: Doctor, how'd you get into our pocket universe? And who is she? On a battlefield... Strax: Hello, who are you? I'm Strax, the Sontaran nurse. In a futuristic office... Steven Nira: Oh, hello, Doctor! How'd you get here? In a dark hallway... Voice: Hello, Doctor. I've been expecting you. In the Time Vortex... Doctor: Oh, hello, everybody! I'm the Doctor, and this is Katherine! I'm seeing six different time periods at once, and I'm in all of them due to this web in time. You can call it the Vortex Web, I suppose. Katherine's here because she's my temporary accidental companion. I have no idea how this web got into the pocket universe... In the office, who are you? I haven't met you before. In the office... Steven: My name's Steven Nira, future head of UNIT- well, present head of UNIT, but you get the idea. Doctor: Ah. Well, in the dark hallway, you? In the dark hallway... Voice: Doesn't really matter right now. Doctor: You're all people I've met before, or will meet... This web was spun by a spider-TARDIS-thing, and it must only be spinning into moments of time- well, people of time- it knows I will meet or have already met... So I want to know who you are. Voice: Here's a hint. You call me something that starts with an "M." Doctor: Are you the Master? Voice: Not quite. Doctor: Are you my mummy? Voice: Uh, no... Katherine: You're the man, aren't you? The man I saw on Gallifrey, and in Jack's shop? Voice: Yes, I'm the man, but no, that's not what I'm called. On Gallifrey... Rassilon: You saw me on Gallifrey? What? Katherine: No, I'm talking to someone else, Mr. Old Time Lord. Doctor: Katherine, don't insult Rassilon, most Time Lords are old, compared to children. A Time Lord teenager is 192 years old. In UNIT headquarters... Kate Stewart: What are we going to do with the Vortex Web? Doctor: No idea. You can't see it, only Katherine and I can. Well, and the TARDIS. The TARDIS has become the world's deadliest spider, spinning its web through time. In the battlefield... Strax: Kill the Vortex Web! Katherine: Doctor, who is Mr. Potato Head, anyways? Doctor: Katherine, his name is Strax. In the office of the future... Steven: There's no need for the Vortex Web, we must get rid of it! Doctor: Steven Nira, how do you think we'll do that? Steven: Well... You know what happens to a web, don't you, Doctor? Doctor: Of course... I know what I'll do now. In UNIT headquarters... Kate Stewart: What? Doctor: Could somebody please dump a bucket of water on top of us? Kate Stewart: Why? On Gallifrey... Rassilon: Doctor! What is the Vortex Web doing in our pocket universe? Doctor: I don't think it's in a pocket universe anymore, Rassilon. It's returned. In the dark hallway... Voice: No! Don't get a bucket of water dumped on you! Doctor: This is all your fault, isn't it, Man? Voice: Doctor, I have a question. Who would want to get revenge by messing up your TARDIS? Who has a TARDIS that's perfectly messed up? Who has a TARDIS that's the same size as it is on the inside because another Time Lord wanted him to stop meddling with time? Doctor: I have a better question. Where am I? Voice: Answer my question, and I'll answer yours. Doctor: The Monk. Now answer my question. Monk: What, no shock? Doctor: No, kind of expected it, actually. Monk: Fine. Lights, turn on. The lights in the room turn on. Monk: Hello, you're stuck in my TARDIS. Katherine: Is this another one of your friends, Doctor? Doctor: If by "friends" you mean "enemies," then of course. Now, Kate, dump a bucket of water on us! In UNIT headquarters... Kate Stewart: Tell me what you're doing first. Doctor: Why do you need to know? Kate Stewart: Tell me or I'll shoot you. *grabs a gun* Doctor: Force me into regeneration? Oh, your father would be very proud of you, wouldn't he? Kate Stewart: Come on, Doctor, tell us what you're going to do with that Vortex Web or I will! Doctor: What's behind me right now? Kate Stewart: A wall. Doctor: Made of what? Kate Stewart: Metal. Doctor: Technically, I'm not here right now. A solid would go right through me, and bounce off that wall back at you. I'm intangible, but a liquid would touch me. Just do it. Kate Stewart: Fine, I'll get a bucket of water. *leaves, then comes back with a bucket of water and dumps it on the Doctor and Katherine* Doctor: Thank you, Kate. Now I can move freely in the Vortex Web. In the Monk's TARDIS... Doctor: And I'll just download the spider part of my TARDIS into the Monk's. Monk: What? No! The Monk's TARDIS turns into a spider-TARDIS. Monk: No! Doctor: And now I can go back to my own TARDIS. In the Time Vortex, the Doctor climbs back to his own TARDIS. Doctor: And now, here's what happens to every web. It blows away. The Vortex Web is taken away by the Time Vortex. Doctor: Okay, now we're back to normal. I'll take you home now, Katherine. Katherine: Thank you! Finally... NEXT TIME... Ice Warrior: The Doctor has 24 hours to hand over the TARDIS or we will make the sun go supernova. Kate Stewart: Doctor, what are you going to do? Doctor: I'll never let you take one of my two companions that I'll always have. Katherine: Please, the world will freeze! Doctor: Kate Stewart, do you have any ideas? I'm all out of them. Kate Stewart: No. Ice Warrior: The sun goes supernova in 5... 4... 3... 2... Category:Stories featuring the Twelfth Doctor Category:Stories featuring UNIT